Saturday, January 13, 2007

Obama's International Diplomacy?

Did you hear the latest news about Barack Obama?

On a fact-finding trip to the capital city of Ecuador's Chimborazo Province, Senator Obama encountered a local farmer whipping a cria and he tried to intervene to save the poor beast from its angry master. A crowd gathered, and many took the farmer's side, but some stood with the kindly American politician, while the Senator's escorts called for the local police.

When the farmer refused to relinquish his whip, the good Senator offered to buy the beautiful animal, but the farmer became even less rational and began to fiercely kick the cria. This excited the crowd into a frenzy, and as a riot threatened to ensue, the little animal stumbled, fell, and began bleeding from several lacerations from the farmers' foot.

The police arrived and managed to get the farmer away from the stricken animal and disperse the crowd, but the animal was unable to stand due to its injuries. The police convinced the farmer to sell the cria to Senator Obama rather than be charged with a variety of crimes, whereupon the Senator and his staff rushed the animal to a veterinarian's office.

Despite life-threatening injuries, the little animal did finally recover, and arrangements were made to have the former beast-of-burden taken to the Chicago zoo, where it is professionally cared for and receives loving attention from hundreds of children daily. All-in-all, a happy ending!

And this event is, of course, now known as:

Obama's Riobamba Llama Trauma Drama

Full Disclosure Update:
No fictional animals were harmed in the fermentation of this story. The imaginary parents of Cortehezala, the pretend baby llama, gave their informed consent, and ethereal emergency personnel were on location if needed. The fake farmer is now serving a 3 year sentence of daily counseling in the Maddenuff Center for Anger Management. The fictitious Mr. Obama became a real person and was elected to the U.S. Senate by the people of the State of Illinois.

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